This morning I finished my run (braggy. ew.) listening to a song by KB that genuinely convicts me every time I hear it.
"Yeah, Lord sometimes its envy on my lips, lust on my hips
Feet prone to slip because I'm so weak
We often fake like we're meek, say we're the least, speak deep
But the Lord is like 'Son, please'
We exaggerate our strengths, hide our mistakes
That's a bad place, cuz we only make His grace cheap
When I'm angry my pride wants to slay me
I know one person who needs to take up his cross daily, that's me"
I sat with it a while, trying to let it effect me more than I wanted, but then came home, showered, was joined by a baby who had poop dried on her from her shoulders to her knees... my morning went on very quickly, to say the least. And there's been a storm system sitting just off the coast of Rockport, threatening to rain for two days now. It taunts us with big, dark, rain filled clouds, laughing in thunder and lightening, but not a drop of rain. And I thought to myself, "Get the girls outside in this beautiful soft box before the rain comes"
And so I dressed them and let them go outside to pick flowers behind our apartment building. But, it wasn't all just about them. See, I just got this new tee I've been coveting on Instagram and - why buy a shirt off Instagram if you aren't going to post and tag said shirt?! Duh. So I tried to wrangle them all together with me and be one of those cute "mama bird" families with their oh so stylish babes and mamas and this is what I got. Lily all deer in the headlights, like she does sometimes, Norah, refusing to come and stand by me before the timer goes off, and Phoebe licking the boogers off of her top lip that I've now wiped ten times on the back side of my shirt. And this was the only one in focus after about 7 attempts.
Long story short(ish?) Mama, if you woke up ready to "perform" today, I'm praying for you, because so did I. Ready to show up and show off by all means available and where has it got me? A wasted morning that I spent thinking a whole lot about myself.
Take a step back, readjust your focus. It's not too late to start new.