On Turning 26

I've rewritten the intro to this over and over and over (and over) again.
Everything I've come up with hasn't been clever enough, funny enough, honest enough.
So forgive me if this blunt, or possibly even vague, but stick with me.

Twenty-five brought some hard learned lessons for me.
It revealed food addiction, pride and intimacy issues, and a renewed awareness of my ever growing need for my Savior.

Physical discipline came easy to me. But overcoming other adversities has proven to be an hour by hour,
pride stripping process that leaves me raw on a daily basis.

One sentiment that has been hard for me to swallow, and admit aloud to others, is this - 
Just because I am good at something, and even successful at, and even though God has allowed it to carry on a certain way - Does not mean I should do it.

You see, in telling others stories, I have disconnected myself from my own.
And I have decided that is not okay.
My children, like yours, are only this small for so long.
I, like many of you, am only young enough to give them all of me for so long.
And at twenty-six, my oldest turning six in two days, my middle fiercely four, and my youngest... terribly two...
It is about damn time I stop throwing away my days with them.

A few months ago I asked a mentor who was/is going through something very similar what she was going to do and she said
"I give it up. I'm giving it all to God. Only He can do it. Mae, I have to surrender!"

And I thought, "Okay... but what are you going to DO?!"

But now I understand. Now what she said is so very clear.
See, I know what my specific call as the Daughter of a King is - to be a kind, feisty, loving wife to my husband, and to be a gentle, guiding comfort to my three daughters. And yet, I've tried to mold a talent (a passionate talent, at that) into my call. Trying to make it fit this idea of what I'm sure God could use, completely rejecting what was already graciously given to me. While leaving my business completely in God's hands is downright counterintuitive to everything I've learned about making my name known, it's what is absolutely necessary to the Kingdom building I've been called to. And, I think, I am finally at peace with it.

So when the inquiries come, I will answer them.
When the sessions get booked, they will receive my full passionate vision.
But in the (previously exhaustive) hours between, I am Mae. Wifey. Mama.
 Not "Mae Burke."

I am ready for simplicity. 
My work has shown that for years. Stripping away the distractions and getting down to the deep connections.
I'm finally ready to have this carry over into my home. My heart.

So forgive me if I'm slow in my email responses. Or my texts. Or my snail mail (let's pretend I do that, okay?)
I'm busy soaking up the summer with my ladies. Let's get together soon and share our intimate connection we each have with our babes.

"When you call I won't delay
This my song through all my days

There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise

I am yours and you are mine...

All my delight is in you Lord
All of my hope
All of my strength
All my delight is in you Lord

JOHN 3:30 " He must increase, but I must decrease."