"This Baby is just gonna fall right out of you!"
"Call me as soon as you even think something is happening, I don't want to miss it!"
"As soon as your body gets going, WHAM! Baby is gonna be here"
Since the moment we found out I was pregnant, these are the sort of things that were said to me on a daily basis.
So why was I sitting on my toilet, during my sixth hour of transition praying to God
"I can't do this. I'm not strong enough, Jesus. Finish this contraction for me."?
The answer is pretty simple now, that's what I prayed for.
Monday night I started having bloody show and contractions that were about 7-10 minutes apart.
On and off they went all day Tuesday.
By Wednesday morning they were getting strong so I had Eamon stay home from work. My contractions weren't getting longer, but they were getting stronger and a little bit closer together. When they hit 6 minutes apart, I called my birth team. I think I even texted Michelle, our birth photographer, "Today's the day!!! We're finally going to meet my Baby!!"
Eamon and I were both excited, we labored quietly throughout the morning for a few hours and started welcoming our birth team as they came in, all anxious to see this butter birth we were all expecting.
About an hour later...I felt my body slowing down. I began to panic a little bit inside, wondering if anyone else had noticed. They had. Angela sent me to go on a walk with Leila, my doula, to see if we couldn't get the contractions to get longer and closer together. It didn't work. They were still only coming every 7+ minutes and were only 45 seconds long. I told Leila as we walked back to my apartment that I was scared that I was stopping, that it wasn't time, that everyone was going to go home and that my body tricked me again. She told me not to think about it and to just keep breathing.
Sure enough, the talk came soon after that.
Angela told me [just as I've told other women] that sometimes a woman's body will feel like it's under pressure to preform, and that just makes things slow down. All I could think was "Ya...other women...You've seen me have babies, you know I'm not 'other women'. Why am I doing this??"
She explained to me that everyone was going to leave, but stay close by to let my body rest and hopefully make a strong come back. I was told to call if I felt like I needed anything.
I felt betrayed by my body.
Again, I gave into the "trick" of false labor, is what I kept thinking. I sent out a text to my prayer team that today was probably not the day after all but to keep praying that it would be soon. I was so afraid that I wasn't going to call my team in time, or that it would be fast and I wouldn't be able to deal with the emotions that come along with a fast labor so I prayed that my labor would progress gradually like Lily's to allow "God to do what He needs to do with me" Sometimes, I don't really understand the things that I'm praying for :]
I went to my chiropractor's office to get adjusted that afternoon which brought on some nice, strong, close together contractions. Baby was still feeling posterior, so my midwife had me start taking a homeopathic treatment that could possibly help turn them into the right position.
We went home and tried to nap. I was already exhausted and knew that since it was Lily's naptime that I better try and get some rest since I wasn't sure how many more days of this nonsense I was going to have to put up with.
Naptime came and went and while Eamon was preparing supper, I found myself doubled over on the floor.
"What is going on?!" I thought. My contractions weren't any closer together, they were anywhere from 7-10 minutes apart but I felt exactly like I did during the 20 mins of transition with Lily. I texted Angela "I feel like I'm in transition, I know that's probably not right, but these are getting really painful" She called and told me to time some contractions and give her a call in about thirty minutes.
Ten minutes passed and I knew I was in transition. I called her and said "I can't wait thirty more minutes, I need you now." Then I called Leila and said "I think it's time for you to come!" during a really intense contraction. I let my friend Katie know what was going on and asked her to come and help us with Lily. Supper time is not the most convenient time to have a baby when you have a toddler ;] I told Michelle that everyone was on their way over and that I'd let her know what my progress was once I had Angela check me that way she wouldn't have to come all the way out here for nothing again.
Everyone was here, and I wasn't slowing down.
Eamon set supper up for Lily with Katie, and came back into our bedroom for Angela to check me. I was a little bit nervous...ok, I was scared out of my mind that I wasn't progressing. But with Eamon on one side of me, and Leila on the other, Angela let me know that I was dilated to 7-8 cms!
The room let out a unanimous "PRAISE JESUS!" and the Hallelujah chorus was ringing in the background...well, at least it was in my head.
I figured being a second time mom I had a few hours, TOPS, before I met this cute little mystery baby, and I was ready.
It was time to work.