I was gonna save this for my weekly update, but decided I probably wouldn't remember, ha!
As the weeks go by, more and more of your little incubating friends' moms and dads are finding out if they are a boy or a girl. I proudly tell them my predictions, then excitedly [and not very patiently] await their announcements, vicariously living through them. Each time one of them says "IT"S A..." I want whatever they have!
"How fun would it be to have another girl?!" I think "we already have everything we need!" The comfort and familiarity almost do it for me. But then I think "Oh, how much would I love a little boy!? What a change of pace would that be?!" And then my arms ache for you...whether boy or girl, they just ache to hold you.
But I have a slight confession, I want you to be a boy. When I nap, and when I lay awake at night feeling your hiccups, I have this beautiful dream of lifting you up, all gooey and wet exclaiming to Eamon "WE HAVE A SON!!! LOOK AT HIM, HE'S BEAUTIFUL" and rejoicing over your perfect newborn body as you let out your first cry. Elaborate? You bet! But I think about it all the time...
Who knows, maybe I'm seeing your brother's future birth, maybe it's all wishful thinking, but dear little jumping bean, my excitement for you either way is overflowing!! Sometimes I think the challenge of raising a Godly man is given only to women who will take charge of that task, women you know are strong enough or loving enough, or even patient enough to do so. So I'm praying that if that's not me-not yet anyway- that God continues to fill my heart with joy and desire to raise women who are not broken, strong, gracious, loving women who know your name, who live for You, who breath in Your will, who will have the patience and love to allow me to raise a man with all the care he needs.
So for now sweet baby, I will enjoy the mystery. I will enjoy the sweet moments where I can feel you snuggle to one side of my womb, enjoy the sweet, unending mystery of how our Father knits you together without any effort, enjoy having you closer to me than you ever will be...
And congrats to my friends who are recently expecting and those who just found out they are adding a precious blue bundle to their family today!!