I could [and want to] write the longest love letter to my daughter tonight and share it here with you all, but instead I will leave you with one of the greatest moments I've had in a year with this beautiful lady that happened about two weeks ago. After this happened, I didn't know if I should share it because it was so personal, heart breaking, perfect, and unreal moments, but I think that if I don't- I might forget it.
Sweet Lily, you love to play outside. The hot sun on your skin, the prickly grass between your toes, the dirt under you fingernails...you love it all. With our tomato trees...I mean plants...growing in the back, you've taken an interest in gardening. You diligently check each plant as far as you can reach for the beautiful juicy red fruits that taste heavenly. You carefully comb through the leaves, lighting up as soon as you spot the green fading to orange, and burst with joy when I allow you to pick the rubies. On this afternoon, you picked the last of the tomatoes that we've been waiting for before the new batch comes in. We were sitting in the grass, the 5 o'clock sun beating down on both of us, trying to wind down from our day. You brought me the tomato to pick off the leaves and dug in to the biggest tomato yet. The meat and juice were still warm from the sun. We passed it back and forth, not saying a word just smiling. I felt the Holy Spirit upon us like never before. Joyful, honest, comforting-it almost made me uncomfortable, like if I tried to stay in the moment, I would lose it. I watched you sitting there- not a care in the world. You weren't complaining about the girl on the playground who stole your swing, or how you're mad that your baby fat rolls over your diapers/jeans. There was no talk about how a certain boy is driving you crazy, but he makes your heart flutter. You weren't sharing with me how he got down on one knee and now you're worried your bridesmaids will hate their dresses. And you weren't crying on my shoulder because your baby hasn't let you sleep in four days. Nope, none of that at all. It was you and me, the most uncomplicated we'll probably ever be. Sitting in the back community lawn of our apartment complex, eating homegrown tomatoes. I realized how blessed we were to find this reward even though it was brought by all the hard work your daddy does. Leaving us at home to soak in all the blessings that the Lord has to offer for us. I felt this unbelievable sense of heaven as we bit into our snack in silence. And you just sat there, smiling and chewing.
On the days since then where no images of heaven have arised, I've thought of this moment, and I'm blown away to know that there will be many more to come. Maybe just you and me, maybe with daddy, or even with your future brothers and sisters, but the possibiliy floors me.
Thank you, Jesus for this perfect girl.
We love you more than words can say...
[stay tuned for party pics!]