So Tuesday, June 22nd was the scariest day of my life. And praise the Lord, all three of us came out, [exhausted mind you!] on the other side
Here's the quick summation of those...awesome...18 hours...
- Let's try something new!
- ...oh my God, my daughter is dying
- whew! We're gonna be ok
- ...or not.
- "Do NOT make her mad"
- "My daughter almost died from a peanut, NOT lack of vaccinations"
- Sleep, what sleep?
- "She's so cute"
- Home Sweet Home
- "Am I gonna be like this forever?"
Let's try something new!
Tuesday I went to Sprouts to stock up on our bulk items. I was almost out of the store when I thought...hrrrm, I should get some almond butter! So I went over to the "freshly ground" section to check the prices...a little too much since our budget is a little tighter these days. I was trying to figure out ways for Lily and me to get more protein in our diet and nut butter on fruit is SO easy! I saw the peanut butter right next to and thought, eh, why not? Lily does fine with cashews and almonds so peanuts should be fine! That night I get her supper ready and decide to let her snack on some grapes and peanut butter while she waited. I gave her a taste on my finger, fine. Then about two tablespoons on her tray. A few seconds later, her mouth turned red, and she started getting big wihte welps. I started to shake a little. "...hey babe...come check this out" Eamon checks her out then gets online. "Eamon...her lips are starting to swell up... I think we should call 911..."
I got her out of the seat and started cleaning her up. Then she let out a weak cough. Then both of us started racing for the car.
...oh my God, my daughter is dying
As we were walking to the parking lot, Lily's lips got bigger and she started acting very sleepy. I got her in the car, no diaper, no carseat. Then it got scary. Lily started falling asleep...and I could barely get her to wake up. When Eamon heard me say "Lily, baby! You gotta wake up!" he turned on our hazards, started honking his horn and speeding through our little neighborhood to get to the closest CareNow center. I thought I had just killed my daughter, I didn't know what to do. I was so scared, and praying like, well, like Lily's life depended on it! We bursted through the doors holding my limp baby and said "My daughter is having a reaction to peanuts!!!"
whew! We're gonna be ok
The staff was exteremly helpful. They assessed her immidiately, and told us she was having an "oral allergic reaction" and gave her some Benedryl and steriods, along with an Epi shot. I wasn't too thrilled about the drugs, but they are for emergencies, and this definitely was. She said they were gonna keep us for 2 more hours just to observe her and make sure she doesn't have any further reactions to the peanuts, or the drugs. Eamon went out to get us some supper while Lily and I waited around to be released. Then I saw them...
Hives...little bitty hives started showing up on her arms, face, stomach back, legs, feet. Head to toe she started to be covered in these hives. I called a nurse in right away. She assessed her and quickly got another shot of epi. Eamon was still gone and while I wasn't showing it, I was getting scared.
What did I do? How could I have done this to my baby...I should have just waited a few weeks to give her any. How could I put her through this???
Then her doctor told me the she was having a severe anaphalxic reaction to peanuts and that it didn't matter what age Lily was, she is always going to be allergic. I was sort of relieved. [And all you finger waivers and upturned nose snobs can be quiet now. Rude.] She then told me we were about to be transported to Cook's Children's Hospital in Ft. Worth for overnight observation. Sheesh... it seemed like this was never going to end. So I had to wait for Eamon to get back to the ER to tell him what was going on [no phone SUCKS!] and we waited for "Teddy Bear Transport" to show up.
"Do NOT make her mad"
The ambulance showed up, finally and Lily made it VERY clear to the doctors/nurses that her lungs were at a full 100%, lol. She screamed, and screamed and screamed while they were putting her on the gerny [which I still don't think was totally neccesary, but whatever]. She was even more pissed when they didn't let me in the back with her. Eventually she just went to sleep, which was great. Then the EMT started asking me about her history. The vaccination discussion started, and while we disagreed, she was very respectful. When we got to the hospital, she told the staff "Do NOT make her mad" for fear of their ears being blown off again.
" My daughter almost died from a peanut, NOT lack of vaccinations"
So then they send us to a triage with lots of other babies and again someone comes to take our history. There's a lady who is entering everything into a comp, the emt who talked with me in the ambulance, Lily's attending nurse from Cooks, and another very young, very blond, very rested "nurse" who we will just call Nosey. The woman who is typing away is getting all her info from the EMT. "Name?" Lily, "D.O.B." that sort of thing. The attending nurse is hooking up Lily's monitors. Then, Nosey walks in talking about her "super fun night with the guy that she's screwing in the cubical next to us...her friend...blah blah blah."
Here's what happens-
Typer- "Are vaccinations up to date"
EMT- " No, parents chose not to"
In my head, "please no more talk..."
Typer- continues to ask the EMT questions
Nosey- "did you tell them...false research?" laughs like she's a genius and LEAVES.
SO I'm sitting there with a baby that almost died and am like...what did she just say?
We answer a few more questions and wait for the doctor to clear us to the room upstairs that we were going to stay in overnight. When we finally get there and settle down I say "Ok, I know I'm sleep deprived and kinda crazy right now, but did you hear what that blond girl said?"
Eamon- "Yes, she said [insert stereotypical sorority girl inserted her tampon in the wrong hole accent here] 'Uh, did you tell them that their decision not to vaccinate their kid is based on false research, giggle giggle giggle!' I was like, false research? You just made yourself look like an idiot!"
Yes, that's my husband, he is far more concerned with the logical falicy of the term "false research" than the fact that this chick thinks she knows what is best for my baby based on what her hot prof told her. So ya, we're still calling her a bitch, and I think she deserves it.
"I just saw that you had an opportunity to tell this story from the perspective of God's mercy on Lily (and you for your mistake). But it overwhelmingly became about bitterness toward someone else. You have the chance to show grace and mercy to someone who doesn't deserve it. And I'd always read James 3:10, but never verse 9. After reading that recently, I was very convicted that we should never curse someone else as we are all created in God's image- even the "ugly" ones. Thank you for listening! You are a special lady ;)"
Thank you M for keeping me in check!
Sleep, what sleep?
It was the longest night ever. The nurses kept coming in to check on her, Eamon stayed up just watching her monitor, and I was still fighting guilt. Before we knew it, there was light coming through the window.
"She's so cute"
In the morning, our baby girl was back to normal. We walked around the halls and said hi to everyone, it was such a blessing to see the joy she brought to all of the nurse's and other patient's faces! Eamon watched the World Cup while I sat, playing with Lily in the play room, waiting to be released.
Home Sweet Home
With a perscription for some Epi Pens, steriods, and lots of rest, we were finally on our way home, after about 16 hours! Lily was so happy to be home and she was finally able to relax, taking the LONGEST nap ever. I cleaned and scrubbed everything that had peanut butter on it and checked our pantry for what needed to be thrown out. There were only a few things, thank God! We had gone a whole year without anything major happen to our baby and we were now armed with the knowledge of what to do for our baby girl.
"Am I gonna be like this forever?"
And lastly, something very, very interesting has happened since we got home. Lily gets roid rage...well sort of. She is absolutely loopy, giggly, argumentative, happy, paranoid, all at once. It's been very entertaining, lol. I wish SO BADLY that she could talk and say what's going on in that little head.
Now, we are all doing well. My husband was a rock solid pillar of Hope for me, never leaving our side when we needed him. We've had *some* sleep and are moving on with new eyes and hearts, ever more thankful for our baby girl and Gracious, loving, HEALING Saviour.
Oh, and Betty. Lily's BFF that was there with her all night :]