For the first time in a long time...

I am not ready.
I'm very much not prepared to jump in without sticking my toes in the water to test the temperature.

The overly ambitious me is actually holding back in fear, and my confidence is something that could definately be questioned these days.

What I must do is something that has become so sadeningly unfamiliar that I am ashamed. Not only MUST I trust in my Savior, I must let go of my self in order to give all of me to my God, my husband, and my baby. No more skimping on the details and no more ignoring the obvious. I need my Jesus.


There will be no big ceremony, no luncheon afterwords, and no cards of incouragment with gift cards for me to buy the " necessities needed to complete my journey".

Somehow I am going to do this.